Come on, man. Why would you add to that chorus? You were good to me, you never did anything wrong. You helped me a lot and things were very bad and I needed help. Brian being gone is also a big help. I tried to pay you back and you know it.
You are the reason I was able to get and stay sober and I wish that I could have been as romantically into you as you were me. You saved my ass cuz you believed in me. It isn’t fair to take that away. Did you believe in me? Or did you conflate my success with whether or not I chose to date you?
I get that I am chaotic, and yeah, I fuck up. I never meant to hurt you, and letting you get so close and see me so weak was a demonstration of extreme trust.
That’s why I stopped replying. You were doing that thing they all do where they reduce me to garbage because I don’t want to be with another fucking man after being with these last few who completely and repeatedly destroyed my life. Not you, not fucking anyone. A guy who was very nice to me was tearing me down. Just like my mom said. I live my life waiting for the other shoe to fall, because it always does, and it was falling. Please don’t take you from me. You were important. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more of me.