the blog

Here’s Why

When you block out my No, it’s always a form of rape. I don’t care how you feel, I don’t care if you’re sad or you’re scared or you’re horny or just an entitled little prick. I said no.

When you block out my Stop, it’s always a form of rape. I don’t care if you want to repeat the same thing I just shot down because you feel I’ve misunderstood. I assure you, I comprehend what you’re saying. I also understand that your position and mine are irreconcilable, that you’re making me angry, and that the only intelligent thing to do is to walk away. You’re not that deep, bro. 

You violate my autonomy when you beg, and you beg all the fucking time. To sleep in my bed, to smoke my cigarettes, and then you spew vitriol and blame me for the Holocaust if I stick to my guns. You make it impossible to draw healthy boundaries because you constantly demand that I allow you to violate them.

You literally force me to give up parts of myself against my will. 

Then you play the mother fucking victim, and it makes me sick. I’m the bad guy for standing my ground? For looking out for myself? For trying to end the fucking toxic merry go round? No sir, I am not. I am the woman who has done everything for you for at least one entire half of the last two years. You are a leach. I am the victim.

This doesn’t change whether or not I slap you. And if you fucking keep pushing me, I’m about to slap you one whole hell of a lot. Mark my fucking words. I’ve had enough. 

I no longer care about being a good person to you. If this relationship goes down in my personal history as the one in which I behaved in shameful ways, so be it. The fury in my stomach will sustain my ego, I’m sure. You are impossible to be kind to. Ask anyone.

Plus the way I see it, you’re at such a fucking  deficit that I could do just about anything and still come out morally on top. That I don’t should be cited as proof of my sainthood. 

I want you out. Now. I want you to kiss my goddamned feet for saving your life, you miserable fucking cunt.

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