I Don’t Want You

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Gotta be real, that one hurt a little. Not just because I do want you, but because you said it to the girl who’s own mother said, “People only like you until they get to know you.” The girl who’s ex husband dipped out and left her homeless to go fuck another woman.

But you bought the boys Pokémon cards and needed a shower, so you hit me up anyway. Pro tip: Gas stations have running water. Wash your balls in the sink.

So what is it? Cuz I got sober and fat and stopped taking your shit? Or you got a job and realized there’s lots of fuckable women who will fuck dudes with jobs? Is it cuz you took me for every damn thing I had and realized how little there was left?

What is it? I picked you up at a homeless camp and gave you a place to live and money to spend. Then I let you stay at my apartment, then when I didn’t have a place, I let you stay in my hotel. You ate my food and I fucked you at least three times a week, sometimes three times a day. I gave you massages and laughed at your jokes and tried not to fuck other people. I did every goddamned thing for you, so tell me, what the fuck does it take to be wanted?

I mean, I knew you weren’t just making shit up when you repeatedly called me an “ugly bitch” and kicked me out and told me you were over me. But you were a good enough liar that I thought you gave at least one single fuck.

Instead, you text me to tell me you don’t want me, presumably after reading how badly I still want you and after I appeal to your conscience and ask you to leave me alone anyway. Couldn’t leave me alone though, saw an in to suck some more life out of me, but had to make it clear that I’m somehow not good enough for you. Jesus fucking Christ.

Brian, there aren’t many people that I say this of, but you were a fucking mistake. I gained nothing from you, and lost a lot of faith in people as a whole because of you instead. I used to think you could be good, and that I could somehow help. I tried to nurse you back to health and you shit all over my life and wound up, two years later, exactly where I found you. You can’t be better, and I can’t help you.

I’m glad you don’t want me. Actually, I’m not. After every goddamned thing I have done for you, you could at least do me the favor of loving me back a little. But the silver lining, I guess, is that you’ll be looking for a new host to latch on to. I’m at least thankful for that.



Hey. It's Renee. Hope you're having a nice day. 

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